Travel Story: Ann The Mental

September 21, 2010 · 10 comments

During my time in Thailand, I met with this girl a few times as we seemed to get on well, her name was Ann. As it turns out, she was part of the raving loony party, specialising in attention seeking, starting fights, and generally being a pain the the arse. I won’t say how this started, but here is how the story ended…

We ended up in a bar after spending the day together, I started to get annoyed with my new companion; I needed an out – and soon. So I suggested a club, dark lighting, loud music and everyone on their feet will aid any escape, or so I thought.

I had another week left on my Thai visa and she had my phone number, so it was going to be difficult to make this work. If I was closer to the end of my visa then I had the great excuse which has always previously worked of needing to leave the country. Unfortunately I’m not a good liar so I tend not to do it and had previously told her my country exit date so couldn’t get around this issue.

We walked out of the bar and immediately Ann decided she wanted to eat, so went to this stall. They were selling fried insects, crickets and grasshoppers I guessed from the look of them. She bought 2 bags and gave one to me. We sat down on the childish plastic furniture and I stared into this bag of diseases.

“Good food lots of protein, try it!” She said. I looked across the road and saw a pizza place selling gloriously greasy bits of heaven and sighed as I put a grasshopper into my mouth, pulling a face half like a stroke victim and half like I had diarrhea.

Lovely...

A Fried Grasshopper

“This food is utterly pointless” I said out loud after trying a few. They were just empty tubes and a bit crunchy with no flavour. If they treated them like we do crisps/chips in the west and offered them in cheese and onion, or (ironically) Thai sweet chilli then they would be much more appealing. I only got half way through the bag before giving up, plus I had a new reason to escape Ann’s clutches – pizza.

We arrived at the club and went straight in. It was dead (this was like a Tuesday night) so we left after a quick drink, it was useless to me as an budding escape artist too, so we got a taxi outside.

A short taxi ride later (baring in mind this was in Bangkok, and at the time I wasn’t so familiar with it, I also didn’t go out with a map and had no particular way of getting back to the hostel I was staying at the past few days other than knowing the closest monorail stop). So Ann was in control of where we was going, she seemed very familiar with all the nightclubs Bangkok had to offer so it wasn’t really my area to choose, I still can’t name any one of them either.

We ended up at this club which was underneath a posh looking hotel. How the people staying there got any sleep is beyond me. But it was loud, dark, expensive to get in, and packed – Perfect.

We went up to a raised platform area where the bar was to get some drinks. Ann had a Margarita and I had some other cocktail I forgot the name of, but it was the most expensive there. Ann’s drink went on the bar side and she started dancing. Now distracted, I could make my move. That was until she pulled me in and did her moves. This involved having me up close to the bar with no way of getting past her without her noticing. So I stood there biding my time, drink in hand, looking a bit like a plank.

Seemingly everyone was looking at this point too. In particular I noticed 2 girls standing a way back looking at us and one tried communicating with me doing hand gestures. They saw my pain and were encouraging me to move on from this nutcase, now bent over and swinging her long hair in circular motion, as if the current attention wasn’t enough, she was now a human windmill.

“I’m off to the toilet” I shouted at Ann.

“Oh me, too, I’ll come with you, and wait outside!”

I had the feeling at this point I’m not the first guy who has tried running from Ann.

So we headed over to the back of the club where the ladies and gents are next to each other. I went in and out and on doing so the girl giving me gestures earlier approached me.

“Hi”

“Hello”

“You need to get away from that girl, she is crazy”

“Er… who are you?”

“How old are you?”

“I’m 23”

“How old is your girl?”

“She is 29”

“I am also 23, she is too old for you, come with me”

“Er… no, I need to get away from her first”

“OK, I understand, see you soon” She then walked into the ladies toilets and I carried on my way

About 2 and a half seconds later Ann spotted me (she was waiting outside the loo’s) and grabbed me and led me back where we was before, I got more drinks in.

Ann spotted a friend and they started talking to each other in Thai nicely, then all of a sudden, Ann turned round, grabbed her drink and threw it over her friend.

“WAAAAAA!!!!” her friend exclaimed. I of course had no idea what was going on.

“What’s going on?” I asked Ann.

Ann looked at me, looked down at the drink in my hand, grabbed it off me and threw it over her friend, who was now covered in the blue liquid from Ann’s Margherita and my red drink, whatever the hell that was.

Now 2 drinks down, and 2 furious girls up the rest of the club *really* was looking now.

On that note, I will give you the great line… ‘to be continued…’

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Mary R September 21, 2010 at 10:58 PM

Rob,
Yes, sometimes we meet wackos on the road who are hard to lose… it’s too bad, but you did get this fabulous story out of it. I’m looking forward to how to plot unfolds… good dramatic tension, btw.
Mary R´s latest blogpost – Have You Ever Been a Travel Spectacle

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AdventureRob September 23, 2010 at 10:41 AM

Yes, if I get a good story out of it then I really don’t mind those people who are a little ‘different’ to the rest :-)

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the destination india September 22, 2010 at 8:55 AM

great story.

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AdventureRob September 23, 2010 at 10:41 AM

It ain’t over yet!

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Candice September 23, 2010 at 5:04 AM

Damn you for leaving me hanging, damn you!
Candice´s latest blogpost – Fun Photo- Mini-Ginger- Pocket Size

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AdventureRob September 23, 2010 at 10:43 AM

Hey, if it keeps you coming back then I’m going to do it :P

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Earl September 26, 2010 at 4:28 AM

I can’t imagine how this one is going to end! I have a feeling it’s going to get even better…
Earl´s latest blogpost – The Day US Customs Found A Bullet In My Pocket

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AdventureRob September 26, 2010 at 10:24 AM

I hope I won’t disappoint :)

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Hogga October 3, 2010 at 3:08 AM

I would say I can’t wait to read the next part to this, but I know the second and third editions to this story are already published and I can go straight to them…
This makes me happy.

Reply

AdventureRob October 3, 2010 at 12:05 PM

Lucky you found it late then :-)

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